17 January 2011

Get outta dodge

Oh dear, apparently I don't need to wait until 2012 (when quantum mystic and World Futures Ervin Laszlo says the world will end). No, bad luck, need to get out of Dodge now!

A friend has pointed me to the WeCanKnow site, which announces Christ's Return on Judgment Day (21 May 2011) -
This web site serves as an introduction and portal to four faithful ministries which are teaching that WE CAN KNOW from the Bible alone that the date of the rapture of believers will take place on May 21, 2011 and that God will destroy this world on October 21, 2011. Please take your time and browse through the teachings of Harold Camping, President of Family Radio. Visit EBible Fellowship, Bible Ministries International, and The-Latter-Rain to read and listen to many faithful teachers give scriptural insight on the doctrines that God is teaching His people. Learn about the Biblical Timeline of History, the correct method of Bible interpretation, the End of the Church Age and God's command to believers that they must depart out of the churches. Study the proofs that God has so graciously given in His Word showing us that these dates are 100% accurate and beyond dispute. Above all, please READ THE BIBLE and prayerfully ask God to open your spiritual eyes to these truths. May it please Him to have mercy on each of our souls.
Yes folks, "100% accurate and beyond dispute" ... and all coming to an end on 21 October 2011. Alas, no indication of whether it's before lunch or after lunch on the 21st.

The site's decorated with the usual mystification - seven seals, seven plagues, sundry bad people, tribulation - and ignorance of textual analysis ... just praise the lawd and pass the contributions in emulation of a succession of Darbyites, Millerites and other disappointed exponents of the End Times and imminent Rapture. They've put a spin on Archbishop Ussher's date of creation -
We will first establish some rules for interpreting these geneologies [sic] accurately. Then we will use those rules to determine the date of Creation, as well as construct a timeline of events. In the Christian community the earth is commonly thought to be about 6,000 years old, but this is based on inaccurately assuming that the word "begat" always implies an immediate father-son relationship. If we construct a timeline based on this assumption we will run into contradictions in the Bible and some of the pieces just won't fit quite right. We will examine this in detail at the end of this study. We will begin our study with this word "begat".

Through this study we will discover that the earth is a little over 13,000 years old. We will also discover that we can know very accurately when certain events took place. For example, we know the Flood took place in 4990 BC and the Exodus took place in 1447 BC.
Quite so. Unfortunately, parsing the Bible (particularly if you are relying on a translation) can provide wildly different dates for the end of history. Ussher's contemporary John Lightfoot revealed that
heaven and earth, centre and circumference, were created all together, in the same instant, and clouds full of water ... this work took place and man was created by the Trinity on October 23, 4004 B.C., at nine o'clock in the morning.